Anxiety, hesitance, and confusion—the tri-state I am in.
Gradually, I have become vocal about my pending resignation. I guess the more I am able to talk about it, the more I get myself to accept it. Why do I say that? Because, somehow, I find it unbelievable that I would leave the company. For a while back, I really thought I would stay for as long they wanted me. But I have come to realize that that is the wrong idea. I should stay for as long as I want. And I no longer want to stay there.
That is why I have made the steps to get out of there.
I have applied. I must review. While I have confidence in what I know, I must not be proud of the so-called stock knowledge. That is just being foolhardy. I must train and get back into condition. I must be in shape mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
Besides this career move, I have begun to work-out and eat less meat. While my family isn’t all out vegetarian because they could still eat beef and chicken though they prefer not to, I’m the last one in the bunch to get into the bandwagon. And while I did not think it was possible, my body experienced what I classified as withdrawals. And getting over that is not a walk in the park. And I am far from being out of the woods!
One more ingredient to this crazed mix is that I am purging myself of the things that could trigger my deadliest sins. The lesser temptations I have at home, the more I could focus. At least, I believe so.
Ergo, with all these happening simultaneously, I feel the terrible toll. Being in this tri-state area could make me feel lost, overwhelmed, and hopeless at once. But that is when I have taken my eyes off my destination. I may be here right now but that does not mean this where I will stay stuck for the rest of my life.
Change may be hard. But it is what is driving me towards my goal. I will get out of here.