Today is Best Friends Day.
For so many years, I’ve always thought three things about best friends. I regarded those three as absolute truths. While I was not entirely wrong, I was not entirely right either.
Myth One: There Can Only Be One Best Friend
In my young mind, the superlative “best” was meant for a single person. No two-way, three-way, or whatever-number of ties. Just one, only one, and always one!
While it is possible to have just one all your life, it would be the rarest of the rare. So many circumstances should be in your favor for that to happen. And just how likely would that always be? Just how lucky are we to find the one friend? Are we not already when we find even just one friend?
Myth Two: You Could Only Be Best Friends With Someone Who Has The Same Sex As Yours
Try counting the best friends you know from literature and pop culture. Now segregate them into same-sex and opposite-sex best friends. It’s likely that the numbers are higher for those of the same sex than those who are not. That’s where my influence comes from and, ultimately, my belief.
Up until high school, best friends around me were always the same sex. From my peers to the adults, they were never a mixed pair. So I believed those were the rules.
It was only in college when I learned that there was no such rule.
Myth Three: If He’s Your Best Friend, You’re His As Well
Reciprocity is, at times, difficult. Let me count the ways.
- You can’t reciprocate because you just can’t. Call it duty, oath, pact, vow, contract, promise, compromise—whatever it is.
- You can’t reciprocate because you don’t feel like it. It’s just not in you.
- You can’t reciprocate because you were never told about it. You were left ignorant.
I wouldn’t be mistaken if I said that I botched a number of potential best-friendships because I never knew that that was what it was turning into. I treated so casually that it resulted to a casualty of sorts. I’ve been told I could be painfully dense in certain situations. I do not contest it.
That is why the best friend collage that I made has blank spaces. They are vacant for two reasons: for who could have been and who could be.